wow looking back i havent written in almost a month, still kinda stuck on what to work on next and feeling disconnected ut really havent had the energy nor the time to focus on anything spirituality wise, although tonights post is about a few various topics ive been thinking about and had written down thoughts on, so as usual its going to be rambling on a bit, read at your own risk

last month after fsg and fusion i posted about feeling very disconnected from spirituality and feeling like i needed to give into something but i didnt know what.  And while i did meditate on it a bit  i still really dont know where to go, its still my own damn fault and its something i need to figure out but right now with the way ive been feeling and sleeping i have no energy to do anything other than work and take care of the house etc, and its something i need to work on carving out time for cause its frustrating, i want to have some direction, im not expecting a big giant head to come to me and say hey you should do xyz, but a little nudge from someone wouldnt hurt.

The other day Sir and i were talking about what ill term “shaman sickness”, the fact that all the shamans i know ( i dont know that many) have some form of nuerological or physical (or combination thereof) issues, and that the work they do burns out neurons rather fast.  Its an incredible sacrifice  for the communities they serve, and I hope personally i remember that if i ask for help or help is offered to me.


I had written a post about a year ago on 7/19/12 about sex with dieties and that i really didnt know much about it.  I have learned a bit more in interacting with folks that have intimate realations with deities and still find it a fascination subject, but in retrospect, im still glad I didnt agree to the offer from odin, it just wasnt my path, and even though i feel disconnected and dont know where to go I think that path would have been bad for me.

have some other topics i wrote thoughts on but ill save those for another day