Up early to go to get some things from the old place.

Last night at the party made me realize some things.  I used to be very jealous of people in intimate relationships especially when there was pda. I felt depressed and lonely, that i didnt have relationships of my own. I think ive finally come to a place where (mostly) i dont need one to feel complete.  Ive had such a bad track record with relationships lately, and I needed to step back and look at the bigger picture, and see what i was doing wrong.  I was jumping too fast into a relationship because someone paid me attention, that someone found be attractive, when really i needed to see the beauty in myself first.  Thats not to say that im giving up but im going to look at it differently, im going to go to things to enjoy them and meet new people without an agenda.

 

moving on did some looking into Hel tonight as part of my promise to her.  Read some blogs, visited an online shrine to her, listened to the song by Raven that really makes me think of her. And I need to revamp my personal altar, to add her in.  Ive been waiting till I found something that i personally thought represented her but I think at least I need to start  with some other things, i did put a copy of the letter I had wrote to her, but i need to meditate on what else I need to add to honor her.

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