Kinda whiney, you have been warned

Overall glad i came saw some great moments of body modification and spirituality. People marked themselves in various ways to mark journeys on their path etc.  But i was in a bad emotionally/mentally/physically.  They green eyed monster of jealousy reared its ugly head in various ways. I felt jealous that people were getting marked and i wasnt, even though i had never asked to be on the schedule. I felt jealous of people and their partners which is an ongoing problem for me-i cant really find what im looking for if i dont go out to things. I felt jealous of thier connection to a tribe or deity when i shouldnt be because even though im not sure who really owns my head im really im ok with that because at least ive done some work and had some experiences with deity.

Overall i shouldnt be jealous of any of if cause i have great friends and a great Sir and a place to live etc but sometimes i get overwhelmed. With emotions and energy esp around energy aware folks i need to be more careful about those things overwhelming me and putting together a grounding/centering kit for me so i can do it on the flyif need be