Archive for March, 2013


daily fire 3/31

wow cant believe its already the end of march

Im reading this book on  andvari a norse dwarf that deals a lot with wealth.  its a very interesting book that talks about andvari’s love of money or rather having money, but its more about concepts of ownership.  What is really yours by right?  If its not yours how do you help get it to the rightful owner?  It also talks about money having a spirit and being a living manifestation of fehu, and that it creates transformation.  Interesting concepts, i look forward to finishing the book

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daily fire 3/30

morning was productive

it was so nice out today. i was able to just breath in the fresh air, the beginings of spring, the promise of new things to come.  Im excited and inspired about working on some projects both spirituality wise and non and being able to get out into nature.

Daily fire 3/29

Work ok massive headache tho

Was thinking more on freya today and when i felt stressed at work tried to let feelings of passion for life and love flow thru me and think of her in an effort to be more grounded.  It still needs alot of practice to get better but its a start

Daily fire 3/28

Work was ok. Got a new phone that actually works yay1!
Its gonna be quick tonight cause its late. I really need to set some time aside to woek on grounding centering stuff cause tonight there was some issues setting it up and i was gettimg ffrustrated at the simplest little things so much so that i wanted to throw the phone against the wall. Maybe it was just a bad day night everyone

daily fire 3/27

work was ok

was doing some research on freya tonight and came across an online shine.  After reading different things for awhile i came across something  that mentioned shes not just about love and beauty in general, but about self awareness and self worth and that definately  hits home since thats something thative had issues with.  Especially the self awareness and being more aware of the energy and spirituality all around me, since thats what this whole journal is all about

Daily fire 3/26

What a lovely day in baltimore! Not! In addition to 2 accidents on the hwy that made us late delays in scheduling and equipment malfunctions (dont worry everyones fine) it was a rather long day.
I had mentioned yesturday that im going to start a space on my altar for Hel and i did tonight. Not much on there now except a copy of my letter to her and a dried rose but there will be more to come.  I know i have the wrong color altar cloth, right now its just beige, ill have to go fabric shopping and see what catches my eye.  It will be an ongoing process as i find what feels right to put there.
And, thank you.

Daily fire 3/25

Work was acceptable.
Still trying to work on grounding and center cause it seems lately ive been needing to use it alot-mostly work related so i dont yell at people.
And Hel, if your listening,  ive been working on getting to know and honor you as part of my promise to you, and will continue to.
Just sayin…

Daily fire 3/24

Up early to go to get some things from the old place.

Last night at the party made me realize some things.  I used to be very jealous of people in intimate relationships especially when there was pda. I felt depressed and lonely, that i didnt have relationships of my own. I think ive finally come to a place where (mostly) i dont need one to feel complete.  Ive had such a bad track record with relationships lately, and I needed to step back and look at the bigger picture, and see what i was doing wrong.  I was jumping too fast into a relationship because someone paid me attention, that someone found be attractive, when really i needed to see the beauty in myself first.  Thats not to say that im giving up but im going to look at it differently, im going to go to things to enjoy them and meet new people without an agenda.

 

moving on did some looking into Hel tonight as part of my promise to her.  Read some blogs, visited an online shrine to her, listened to the song by Raven that really makes me think of her. And I need to revamp my personal altar, to add her in.  Ive been waiting till I found something that i personally thought represented her but I think at least I need to start  with some other things, i did put a copy of the letter I had wrote to her, but i need to meditate on what else I need to add to honor her.

Day was sorta productive.
Later on i got dressed to go to the kink party, and took time to really do my hair and makeup, it worked alot better then last weekend, throughout the evening i tried to think about freya, to let her energy flow thru me and i felt good, i felt sexy.
Before when Sirs boyfriend came to visit i would be so jealous of the time they spent together and private things they did together because i wanted so much to have someone to do those things with too but with ny track record that aint gonna happen anytime soon,  but im much better i am happy when they are together.

Daily fire 3/22

Work was crappy.
Sir wrote a blog post that had several great points and on of them was about telling your own personal spiritual journey and living up to your own path, which really resonates with me. Yeah i write this thing every day, but i really dont expect many people to read it or have some life changing moment because of something i wrote. Its really to keep a record of my ever changing path, sure ther are times i whine and say im not inspired and there are times when inspiration hits me upside the head. I have to roll with the good and bad and not count on others to make my path happen, sure support, advice, guidance is welcome but if i dont do the work nothing will happen.