Archive for January, 2013


daily fire 1/31

cant believe its already the end of january

so awhile back Sir pulled some runes for me about a question i had about the bind rune im thinking about doing for Freya, and ive been looking into them more the first one was laguz which, looking into it makes perfect sense for me .  The ebb and flow of water and emotion, that you must have emotions but not allow it to overwhelm you ,,,,hmm that sounds super familiar to me .  one of the other runes in the reading was Berkana  which to me means taking a new path, rebirth, new start,, and i came across something  that said something about also cultivating relationships which is something  i really need to work on, i whine all the time aboout never getting a date, but its more than that, just working on friendships would help too.

Overall im geting the feeling that i need to wait more toward spring for getting the cutting done

Daily fire 1/30

Work was ok
Was looking more into Hel and was thinking its kinda interesting that her realm takes the dead (or least from what ive read so far) that have died from sickness corruption and things like old age, and that freya who i have had experiences with and am planning to probably get a bind rune cutting about/for her.  Need to figure out whether that means something in the long run and if so what

Daily fire 1/29

Got a chance to clean a bit while Sir had company, yay clean house. The garage is still a mess and theres a bunch of stuff in storage but it will get done sometime.
The tau (apartment at the end of the universe) is starting to look like a home, still need to get some bookshelves for all the books we have and get some decorations up but at least theres not stacks of boxes everywhere.  Ive set up my personal altar as well it has some things from my ancestors and somethings that represent my past present and possible future.  I have some items from when i was wiccan, because realistically i dont call myself that anymore.  I m not even sure if pagan really fits but eh for now.  I also have the dreaded pink training collar and the first regular collar of Sir’s that i made.  They are very important to me a symbol of our history,  where we have been and where we could go.

Going to meditate tonight see if i can process more of these kinda blah ho him feelings see if i can figure what to do and see if i can get an idea of what the big looming thing is that i think is coming up

work was ok

interesting talk with Sir about  faith/spirituality and spectrum, as in if you have a scale of christianity on one side and atheist on the other is paganism/spirit worker/wiccan/insert alternative religion here/ in the middle. do we distance ourselves and say well were not like them because they believe in something else?  there are so many different points of view  and so many flavors of alternative spirituality.  lots of things to think about , and its real late….more tomorrow

daily fire 1/27

got a decent amount of little things done today

been thinking a lot about my personal spiritual path where i have been and where i am going.  lately ive been feeling kinda of stagnant, like i havent been inspired, that I dont have any idea where i should go, that there is something big going to happen and i dont know if its good bad or something in between.

 

On a completely different subject, Sir made me blush and tear up again he forwarded me a description of his new bio for a class hes teaching and called me his 24/7 slave and shaman’s girl,  how long we’ve come.  Still have a long way to go and lots to learn, but wanted to say thank you Sir for everything you have given me

daily fire 1/26

day was ok didnt seem to get much accomplished.

Sir and i had a a very interesting talk this evening.  He had been in his room and I was in the living room,  I was doing research on Hel , reading several essays on who she is and how she operates and  then Sir pops out and says something like hey we should go smoke, he had just finished a reading for a client, had gotten a godsmack about it and needed to ground a bit.  He hadnt realized that I was doing the Hel research and when i told him, it kinda made sense that he all of a sudden got the reading done .  We talked about how the runes associated with hagalaz and Ear  have different meaning  but they both bring about change, hagalaz rather quick crisis like change, and ear (being associated with death) slower more deliberate change.  We also talked about how gods have agency as in can do their own thing, and that their are risks by either choosing to work with them or choosing not to and their might be consequences for either choice.

daily fire 1/25

work wasok glad its the weekend

when i was sitting in front of the altar last night had a bunch of thoughts rolling around in my head  everything from sex to love to kinda dark disturbing images, kinda all went by so fast, lots to think about .  Still need to ttake some time to do so more research on Hel.

Daily fire 1/24

Work was ok.
Quiet is awful
Going to sit in front of the altar tonight and meditate a bit.  Im feeling rather sad and lonely and kinda feeling ugly.  Maybe if i sit there and contemplate things i can process some of the stuff im feeling

work was ok back still hurts alot

last night i was trying to write something more about Hel but I was exhausted and was falling asleep trying to type.  So here goes –  I havent told everyone this yet but have told a few folks. on the day of Sirs surgery I had been exhausted and come back to the room to nap and then I had a dream/nightmare/whatever of Hel’s skeletal grabbing my arm and then the drs coming out saying  he didnt make it. Of course now i know that didnt happen but at the time i was freakin out, still working on processing that.

also out of the blue one of the callers name at work today was freya, as part of my job we get the first name and last initial of the person calling and at first i thought i was hearing things and then i asked her to spell it , w as kinda stunned cause  i had never heard anyone named after Freya, i could look at it as a sign of hey  maybe I should pay more attention to freya  or there is  something shes trying to tell me, or who knows.

daily fire 1/22

work was acceptable  back is absolutely killing me, wish i had a masseuse couldnt get to sleep for the longest time and just couldnt figure out what to write tonight, it was like i was missing something  and couldnt go to bed till i figured it out….usually  its just my scattered brain thinking of the kajillion things i have to do  but this was something more.. after awhile i started doing some more research into Hel , I had started researching  earlier as part of my deal to her in my  letter to her about Sir .  I started looking around, reading some essays,  and rituals  folks had written, the unbinding rit on ravens site  looked really intriguing, and no im not about to try it at the moment .