So work was bearable and im looking forward to the time it gets way easier

An issue came up in relation to what i do for Sir and his work with spirituality.

I volunteered for this. I consented long ago, and knew what I was getting into- to be Sirs sacred bottom, shamans girl, and to be used as a tool in whatever way he needs, because I feel that this type of work is my calling and is part of my spiritual path  I trust him implicity with knowing what needs to get done, with my overall safety,  how to use me as a tool efficiently  and am proud to be able to offer my services to him.  Not everything I do for him in the course of my duties is to take physical pain, I support him with nourishment, I am the magic hands that make an object appear when he has need of them, I can handle logistics and driving etc.   I have the option to leave at any time, but I choose to walk this path with him.  This work makes me happy and fulfilled. Recently a spirit used me and pushed a great deal of energy thru me, that even though i might have had a grimaced face and was crying, this is my Job as his sacred bottom and shamans girl, to have someone there that can safetly take things like that, and that the body doesnt have to worry about the after effects because he and I have an established relationship when things like that are discussed alot .  We also do exercises-for example we have made a ritual out of grounding and centering each day to help me to learn how to do it faster  so I can help him better with his work and clients.  These techniques helped me ground out the massive amounts the spirit was pushing through me quickly. In this particular instance We had discussed quite a decent amount  about what this spirit is and what might happen if called, and some things that have happened when she has shown up in the past  for several days before the ritual.  I generally try to check out the spirit list and if there is someone on the list im not familiar with I with try to do some research on my own to familiarize myself with them.  Sir was concerned about them being invited, and I pretty much had a clue what might happen before the ritual started since we had discussed, and as soon as i sat down I knew what was going to happen
Also after the ritual we talked alot about that moment and still do, it is standard practice in our dynamic to discuss things about rituals we attend and debrief and hear each others opinions so that we are making sure each other are being  taken care of if there is an issue. During another possesion some folks noticed that I had broken down and was having a hard time handling what was said and then all of sudden dropped everything to check on Sir when I heard that Sir was expressing some health concerns.  This is just how I do things on my own, he didnt ask for me to come over but I am wired in a way that I drop to “work” mode when I hear things like that .  It actually helps me focus on something else so that I can get a handle on things because sometimes i overstress  and overeact about things  Im not saying that what happened wasnt important to deal with and process but, generally for me to really process something i have to be out of ritual space and it takes a few days, and Sir and i have talked very much about what those words meant, and Ive learned some things I didnt know about the situation, and in doing so Ive been able to process my experience.  Ive also talked to a few others folks that were there in private process things and check in and such.
So this is something that i have chosen to follow and which is a very big part of my spiritual lifethreatening and i come to willingly, i realize some people dont understand it but i welcome questions and comments

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