Work was awful i got really frustrated not being able to figure something out or find something i need that was on the tip of my toungue and having to ask the call coaches for help a gazillion times.
I had a rough day in general was upset at messing up some dr appt stuff for Sir- which turned out somewhat ok but it and the work stuff and the ritual sat i was having a BAD day.  Im still processing what went on and evertime i do i start to cry and think of worse case senarios and it sends me into depression.  We have so much to look forward to, so much work and fun and spirituality stuff to do. Just last night we were talking about more long term stuff in our dynamic and everytime i think about that conversation it makes me hopeful, proud to be his. Its something that i need to remind him of- just that i am proud to his and that I want to take those next steps whatever we figure them out to be.
The energy exercises helped a tiny bit at work but by the end of the day i was so flustered and my brain hurt so much that even getting a full deep cleansing breath seemed impossible.

Ive been looking into some of the deities Sir works with for a possible future thing and i realize that i really dont know them as well as I thought i did and if I learn more it might help me assist him better in his work