Archive for November, 2012


Daily fire 11/30

Oh my goodness where did the month go!
Work really really sucked today.  Althought deep breathing and quick bouts of grounding/centering kept me from walking out the door for good

Got the feeling this am to get gussied up so i put on a decent outfit and left my hair down. I felt good, powerful, kinda sexy. Ive had so many problems lately feeling sexy, feeling like ill never find even occasional romantic love that this was a nice boost.  Kept freyas necklace with me today for inspiration at work and im wearing it now.

Daily fire 11/29

Work was nice had ahalf day. Going to pick up Sirs boyfriend tomorow hope they have fun.

Lately ive been thinking alot about the scent of rose.  I was at a friends and they wear rose oil an it just makke the person smell sooo yummy.  I associate the scent with freya, love, beauty femininity, something i struggle with on a daily basis. I feel the need to set up a mini altar, some fresh flowers, rose oil, something natural from the yard, to add that scent into the room.

Daily fire 11/28

Work was ok.  Body aches
Sir had a good idea for me to meditate in front of the altar once a week with the intent of keeping the job i have for now but opening up to new job possibilities cause the working enviroment is a little rough. I do need to get back to doing meditating on a more regular basis, but theres just soo muchto do

Daily fire 11/27

Work was survivable.
Nervous and excited for this weekend. In general soo much to do, feeling very stressed i need to carve out some time to do some serious meditating since i still cant seem to shake this im still missing something big feeling

Daily fire 11/26

Work was acceptable but dont like the new later shift.

Saw a perfect apartment, out in the woods very private and Sir got a good vibe out of it hope we get it.  Observation of the day, nature is important to my spirituality.  I got such a rush from being out on that farm, the energy was just teeming.  Need to go wandering in the woods soon, i miss being able to wander and meditate

Daily fire11/25

Slow morning. Had fun with friends at bday party
Hanging out with chosen family can be a spiritual experience. Hanging out chatting allows me to release pent up energy, and i know im safe talking about wierd spiritual stuff or getting advice, at least im with people that get me.

Daily fire 11/24

Felt meh today didnt get a ton of stuff done.

Ill tell you a short story, the other day i was upset that i lost my la sirene ring. Well today i found it and im ot sure what to make of it.  Iam occasionally smoking clove ” cigars” not as bad as when i was smoking a pack a day of regular cigarettes, and we are cutting way back. But i have a old plastic cup for butts in my truck and had put one in it and it was still smoking so i shook it around and i heard a clunking, sure enough i look in it and there it is, my la siren ring and i have no idea how it got there.  Not sure what to make of this ill have to think about whether this just a wierd quirk or some weird spirituality sign.

Felt meh today didnt get a ton of stuff done.

Ill tell you a short story, the other day i was upset that i lost my la sirene ring. Well today i found it and im ot sure what to make of it.  Iam occasionally smoking clove ” cigars” not as bad as when i was smoking a pack a day of regular cigarettes, and we are cutting way back. But i have a old plastic cup for butts in my truck and had put one in it and it was still smoking so i shook it around and i heard a clunking, sure enough i look in it and there it is, my la siren ring and i have no idea how it got there.  Not sure what to make of this ill have to think about whether this just a wierd quirk or some weird spirituality sign.

Daily fire

Cooked, cleaned went grocery shopping took nap. Some friends are coming over for flamey stuff yay!
Next saturday im going to get 2 small pieces of jewerly. And yes im being vague for now ( pics to come). Ive been thinking about how they are tied into Sirs and mine dynamic. It will be a symbol of ownership, a symbol of the type of spirituality service I provide.  Its is a tie between us, i had wanted some sort of mark or other more permanent thing and i brought the subject up, and it turns out he had been thinking about it too.  Its a sign of the next step in our dynamic because this will be permanent unless for some weird reason i take them out. Dont freak out we discussed this alot and i have no hesitations about getting it done. Im excited, nervous, and proud.

Daily fire 11/22

Was really upset this am that noone had a live stream of the macys day parade iwas sooo lookin forwards to it.  Had a real nice dinner with friends.

I dressed up for dinner tonight, not that it was a requirement more i was getting this push like you need to be girly tonight.  I wore a dress that makes me look decent and did my hair etc.  Got compliments on it, but my mind drifted back to one person, the last time i wore the dress, that made a comment( to the effect of are you going to a luau ( not sure where they got that but the dress is one shoulder and a blue / green abstract pattern)? Kinda hurt my feelings cause i had taken alot of time and effort into choosin the dress and doing makeup and hair etc. But tonight nothing but compliments.
Tonights going to he about thanks.  I am eternally greatful for all the people that have made donations to our ” new beginning” they have been extremely generous.  I am thankful for my friends, who have stuck with me through this wild wacky journey i call life.  And most of all i am thankful for Sir, who has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Sure that has been ups and downs and sharp learning curves, but overall i wouldnt have it any other way. I love you dearly Sir and I am yours for however long you will have me.  You have opened my eyes, taught me how to better view the world, kicked my ass in gear when need be, and put up with my quirks, and given me sound advice about my path.  You have given me a place at your feet, and i will follow you wherever your journey in life takes you.