I am a bad girl having not writtin this till 830 sun am i had worked rearranging and cleaning up it slipped my mind till late cause i was frustrated at th lack of progress i laid down in bed turned the laptop on for background noise got comfy and woke up enough 2 hrs later to put my cpap on and the next thing i know its 815. So sorry but at least im writing this as soon as i woke up and took meds.

Its interesting though i thought at first when i was given this “assingment” i thought there no way i can keep up with it. It will be like most other spirituality things i do i start and then get lazy and forget or say i dont have the time. But this has really started to give me the clue by four that if i want direction if i want to find out who /what /if whoevers been watching over me that im the one who has to take the initiative im the one that has to do the work. Its funny because usually if if forgotten to do it or its late i get this feelin thats somethings not right. The few times ive forgotten to do it before i go to bed i wake up and its one of the first things i think about, like this am i wake up go to the bathroom, and im sitting there about to take meds and go cook breakfast and the feeling of something not quite right hits and im like oh i mossed the ritual, the ritual of writing it right before i go to bed, and normally when i do it at night i feel comfortable, like my day is complete. So yeah, even tho i grumbled at first and never thought i could do it its become a part of my life, its kinda i can see the folks that gave me the reading going see i told you, and maybe now ive finally got the point.

Moving on, i was cleaning and rearranging Sirs room last night to make it more functional, and to me this is almost a meditative act for me.  I get to clean away the trash, rearange furniture and my mind gets to wandering thinking about how things are going, not in a bad way but just letting thoughts roll through.  I dont think its any secret that I ve been struggling with stress and sadness lately. I did get frustrated yesturday when things wernt working with a bed frame, but i eventually stepped back did some grounding centering and started afresh.  Cleaning to me also gives me a chance to imagine im cleaning away negative thought and overstressing about things i cant control. The feeling doesnt always last for long but at least it helps.
Off to breakfast since ive been writing for about 30 mins.

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