8/4/12

Slept in a bit this am cause like usual I didn’t get to bed till 2 am worked on a few sewing projects, realized I need to rework one-I thought I might because the fabric wasn’t as wide as I had hoped, but thought it was going to work, but not quite, eh I can use the fabric for other things.  I took a break from sewing projects later in the day because everything was going wrong

I sat before my altar for awhile tonight, I needed to clear my head, I had been depressed (not urgent or im gonna hurt myself depressed,  but  just a bit of depression here and there), my sewing projects were not working. I threw my headphones on and some nine inch nails, turned off the lights, asked papa legba informally to open the gate, and I let my brain just flow with ideas.  I cried a bit, this recording of NIN is from a live show  and it reminded me of my days in theatre when things settle down job/home wise I really need to find some community theatre and get involved.  Also, im not sure what to make of it but when I was sitting in front of my altar –which is this multi level thing on top of my dresser- I leaned over and my forehead touched the bowl I have for La Sirene that has saltwater in it-it’s a small thick decorative glass bowl, not really heavy- but, when my forehead touched the bowl it felt like the bowl was boring  itself into my head and I couldn’t push it away, it was weird, And I got this feeling that I really need to start singing on a regular basis. I thanked papa legba, then  I spend some time with the small sculpture that I found in a thrift store for freya, I felt a sense of calm, a bit giggly,and, hmm the only way I can describe it is romanticish, I had images of me and someone –I couldn’t see who or what they were but we were outside, there were trees along the edge of some sand and water I was wearing a long flowy dress  and we were holding hands-the figure was humanish but I couldn’t see details,  but it felt nice.

A lot of other things flowed through my head, those are still processing

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