Put the truck in for service, wont be able to get it all done but at least get the nasty clunking noise to stop.  Ive started taking only half of a wake up pill to see if that will avoid the big nasty headaches but still keep me a bit awake…day 2 and it seems to be an ok thing worked for several hours looking for jobs, its amazing 4 applications took over 2 hours because each of them have different online forms that take FOREVER by the end of the day my hands are really tired- I applied for more than 4 but took a break here and there to rest my hands and pick up the truck.

Theres been a few blogs im following bringing up the idea of godspousery and doing work to see what those who are spouses have to deal with that it might not be for you.  That to work on yourself and what you have to offer and to not try and take shortcuts, and try to force something that isn’t there.  Its something that im working on I mean in the back of my head theres this voice that says wouldn’t it be great to just instantly know who/whats been looking out for me/pushing me/trying me (if there is something).  But lately im thinking if I find out without the work what will that mean, will I have skipped a crucial step, will I screw something up?  The research and devotional stuff im doing is beneficial, enlightening, and thought provoking,  I think ive learned more in the last 3 years (and esp so the last few months) spirituality wise then the 10 years before that.

Im actually surprised ive kept this up, I have a tendency to be lazy and let things lapse

The practicing of the veves with cornmeal actually went well, but Im going to practice more