Daily Fire

Was talking to my mom today and almost broke out in tears, we were talking about my job search and how bad its getting , and that I could always move home –she was being nice and concerned but unless I was super desperate I wouldn’t move back , im not out to my folks in many of the activities I do even though im 41.  It stems from how conservative they are and how scared I am to tell them… I do plan to tell my mother and soon, haven’t figured out how yet .  They have been incredibly supportive throughout the years but they would have serious issues with my lifestyle.

Its rather depressing to think that I haven’t been able to find even a crappy job in 5 months it makes be question my self worth.

I didn’t get a ton done today other than putting in a ton of resumes Spirituality wise I did watch some more videos, heck they are free so way cheaper then buying books and being unemployed I need cheaper.  Still thinking about the whole deity trustworthyness thing but another blog brought up a good point  that those who serve a deity with a “bad rap” part of their work is to prove that they have morals and they aren’t all assholes because there are some folks that are assholes that just say so and so deity made me do it.  They also bring up the notion of being aware of what you do and say and how it reflects on your family and those you serve. Definitely important things to remember. I think a lot of deities have both good and not so good traits,  and by the research im doing at least I can have an informed opinion and at least try to present myself and my service well.

On a completely different note, when Ive gone to rituals and drawn veves ive never been happy with the results, they looked sloppy so ive begun practicing with cornmeal, we will see how that goes