Archive for July, 2012


Daily Fire 7/31

Spent the morning doing some sewing, well ok most of the day, put in a few applications.  Worked on some paperwork.

Picked up some books at the library, Sir had mentioned a while ago that it would be a good idea to learn about other pantheons .  My hick library is rather limited but I did find a book on greek and roman gods/goddess it reads like a kinda boring textbook but the little ive read so far I can at least pick up some description of who they were cause really I barely know know anything about these pantheons.

Its interesting to note both Venus and Aphrodite the roman and greek goddesses were both born from sea foam.

So that makes 4 count em 4 deitys that are “girly girls” (love, beauty, etc)that  have something to do with the sea/water.  Venus and Aphrodite were born from it.  The 2 ive had experiences with Freya-one of the translations of her name means the one shining over the sea, her tears for her lost husband turned to amber when they hit the sea and La Sirene- a seductive mermaid Lwa who rules over the oceans.  Don’t know about you but I see a pattern here of sorts, something to think about.

Ive been trying to find more information about Lilith, theres nothing that I can find so far in my local library, but net research ive found that there are several interpretations of the meaning of her name-female night demon, night, evening, wind or Lady air .  In jewish tradition shes referred to as shedim spirit or demon and can be related to storms .  Also in some places shes refered to in Sumerian texts as the handmaiden of Inanna because Inanna who send Lilith out to lead men astray.  Seems like shes referred to in many different cultures, sometimes its tough to sort through whats loosely interpretated  whats based on personal opions, and whats based on ancient texts etc.

daily fire 7/30

7/30/2012

Spent the morning on the phone getting some appts done . Im still putting in applications even though im crossing my fingers Im getting the job that ive already jumped thru a lot of hoops for.   The rest of the day was rather unproductive, I watched tv oh wait I did a bit of laundry.   But honestly if you asked me what I did from around noon till 8p I would have said nothing .  Im sliding back a bit to old habits of I have so much I could do that would be beneficial to me but ill just sit here in front of the tv-part of it is even if im studying or reading a book I have to have noise and preferably video in the background and then I get distracted.  Tomorrow ill skip watching my series  and just put on some music and read.

 

I started cutting out my craft project for La Sirene, still have to get some supplies but at least I can do the base shape.  In my head ive been adding lots of stuff originally it was relatively simple but it was oh wait I could add a backdrop, oh wait I could add this etc etc , so we will see how it turns out .

Ive been thinking more about the whole rune cutting thing.  I think I have an idea of what I want but Im probably going to let it stew a few months.  As I was typing this however I got the idea that I might want to rethink the whole thing and get something else done in another language, but not quite sure which one, eh more research to be done

daily fire 729

This is going to be super short, got in really late.  Someone in my life is going thru some heavy stuff and im trying to help in whatever way I can .

Was thinking about La Sirene a bit today I kissed the ring I have for her a few times today trying to thing about the ocean, I was waiting at the store for a rx and they had one of those “relaxing music/video” things, I guess to placate those waiting forever for something, the music was awful but the video was of fishes and sea turtles swimming in the ocean and it was so vivid I just wanted to jump thru the tv into the water, but alas  no such luck…I really need to figure out how to afford going to the seashore before it gets too cold this year.

daily fire 7/28

7/28/12

Wow, well lots of stuff might be happening  in the next few weeks, kinda makes me concerned about the future but, im going to drop that now.  The rest of the day was relatively boring vegged around for awhile watchin one of my favorite tv shows from the 80s the pretender (love my hulu) .Crossing my fingers that I hear good news from the potential job early next week

Ive been working on the energy exercises here an there, are they successful? Eh don’t know really, I feel a few things but  I think I need to practice a lot more if I want it to work better.

Got some supplies to work on part one of the craft project for La Sirene and the necklace for Freya.  Im making a mermaid wall hanging, its gonna have blue kinda watery colored silk and and a fin, some dangly stuff and sparkly stuff I think it will look good.  Also got the fabric I need to do someone elses whites just gotta throw it in the wash when I get back tomorrow .

Ive had trouble getting motivated to do anything the last week, the whole not being employed thing has really hit me hard lately but I was headed to bed, looked over at my altar and saw how dusty it was and I couldn’t sleep till I did something  so I spent awhile taking everything off and cleaning up, at least I felt a touch better

daily fire 7/27

7/27/2012

Spent an absolutely awful night with tummy troubles so bad the pain woke me up from a sound sleep around 4a, went back to sleep for a bit but have a feeling its going to be a long day.  Finally got the drug test done I had to wait for an hour just to give them urine.

This is gonna be rather short im processing some heavy stuff

Watched a video advertising a kinky event and in it there was a person with a mermaids tail!! It kinda looked like latex but it really caught my eye I have been thinking about her a lot lately, a while back when I was looking for a dress for the queer party  I found this ring it’s a starfish that has fake diamonds a scallop shell , and a clear glass gem on a stretchy metal band,I bought it thinking of her.  Its kinda big so I don’t wear it all the time but ive taken to kissing it when I think of her, or something big happens and have it practically wherever I go.  Its kinda of strange/silly maybe? but  hey im new to this and if it makes me feel good then heck ill keep doing it

daily fire 7/26

Got up early to do an airport run had a nice lunch with Sir went to an appt then we hung out at the dojo for a bit.  Tomorrow I have more hoops to jump thru for a possible job, gotta get piss tested and background checked and perhaps another interview but I figure at least they must be slightly interested if they are doing the pee test.  Maybe they run those things and pick from a pool I don’t know….lots of steps, but crossing my fingers I could really use a job, I cant believe its been 5 months.

I looked into Sigyn a bit but stuff on her is hard to find,  Ive seen the devoted wife and mother bit but sofar I haven’t really seen anything else .

Sir and I were talking about tattoos and  body mods and I was talking about wanting to get another tat when I could afford it  and he said I could see you getting a mermaid.  Hes talking about for La Siren, ive been talking a lot about other deities but I haven’t forgotton about her.. I feel her presence a lot.  I really should go back to the ocean and go swimming, yeah need to be careful but I love to swim.  Guess I should look into images so if I was able to get a tat (various factors influence that part) id know what I want.

Ive also been thinking about runes, awhile back I wanted to get a cutting of runes but it was pointed out that at the time I really didn’t know much about them, which is true but after the whole freya thing and the research Ive done I think I have an idea of what I want and why,  but I got to talk to Sir about some stuff first, but no rush.

daily fire 7/25

7/25/2012

Putzed around most of the morning, didn’t really get much done,  cleaned, went grocery shopping.  Mostly a lack of motivation on my part

Started reading a book about loki, its really interesting, he gets a really bad rap, but from some of the personal stories I see a different side of him, one that yes might change up the lives of his followers but usually does it with the best intentions and truly cares for them at least so far of what Ive seen….It sounds like it’s a tough path to follow.

I have enough stress in my life being unemployed and having to deal with my ex and this crappy house (long story, not in the mood to explain).  I am glad right now im still trying to find my path.  I see the restrictions and rules that some devotees have to deal with, and right now I am happy (for the most part) of what im doing spirituality wise.  Also the book mentions Sigyn one of his wives who held the bowl to collect the poison dripping on her husbands face amazing such dedication, ill have to look into her too, she seems interesting.

daily fire 7/24

7/24/2012

Went to the interview I think well spent most of the rest of the day putting applications in, cleaning up, and sewing.

It was interesting, Sir and I had talked about learing different pantheons, one of which is the greek one, and when I came home that day a disc from Netflix about greek gods was there,  just a small coincidence.

Ive come to realize that for me the energy exercises work better  if I do them in small batches 5 or 10 mins here or there.  If I try to force it by trying to do like 30-45 mins in a block I tend to get distracted or cant center or do anything . I turn off the tv put some music on, and try, so at least im working on it

Sir had suggested learning about other pantheons, had mentioned Lilith, so im starting to try to find information about her, I had no idea she was tied to Judaism  so far Ive only found things like historically shes seen as a female demon.  I really don’t know much about her, so ill have to do more research but one of the first horsings I had ever seen was her, there was other horsings during that time and it was a private thing for someone else so Im not getting into details, but I remember seeing this proud, strong, very feminine, very seductive woman, and wondering if she was a warrior.  Not sure if its related but more research is in order.

Sad that I wont be able to make the utos ritual this Friday but its up in NY and I just cant afford it

daily fire 7/23

7/23/2012

Got a late start on the day got in late then was up till 3 filled out applications all day then just got out of the house and drove around, went to the thrift store to see if I could find a a new dress for the interview but no luck except for a portable record player (yay vinyl)  and some blue glass pebbles for La Sirene

Working on energy exercises again today or at least trying to center myself and start to do energy exercises.  Finished off the uncle einar book and the short one on odin going to read one on Loki.

Im trying to read up on different opinions from people that have different relationships with deitys, no matter what the pantheon.  The more I can learn about all different deities and Pantheons  the more help I can be to Sir and who knows I might just find the one who “owns” my head along the way (maybe).  Its going to be a long slow path, sometimes when I get sad or frustrated about something there are times in the back of my head I want to just know everything instantaneously but I know that would have consequences that I probably wouldn’t like, and Ive got at least some focus and I don’t want to mess anything up.

Ive been looking online at beads for the necklace I promised Freya, there a lot of different beads of amber, its going to take a bit to figure out  what ones will work best with what, and I know its not all going to be amber, im not sure If I need to add gold or silver but  it’s going to be some sort of pendant and spacers in between the amber

Edit: that was earlier in the day I now know the pendant is going to be her rune but the other parts of it Im still not sure about the other

so yeah its a bit late but i didnt get home till a few minutes ago so here it is

7/22/12

Had a quiet morning  putzed around till everyone woke up around noonish and made breakfast .  We all watched a bunch of moview then went out with a bunch of his friends to dinner

I had an interesting conversation with someone who had some personal interactions with Odin and with Sir  about wyrd , that wyrd can have more than one path, that one path might be smother and the way you should go but there are other more bumpy paths that might seem more exciting but they are rougher tougher and might be hard to take, and probably not the way you should have gone but that you have choices.  That people who have a relationship with Odin have to work super hard and he can run them ragged Its possible that Odin took notice and advantage of the way Ive been feeling.  Inside I want so much to be able to talk to a deity like with god phone etc but overall I know its a bad idea and has consequences cause ive seen what people have to go thru that have em.

Had a good conversation over dinner and afterwards some stuff to work on and think about

Feeling rather sad and little today, the movie made me sad,and I really need to find more friends I don’t have anywhere else than Sirs house really to go hang out etc, and lots of activities to meet folks  at are expensive when your unemployed, ehh something to work on finding low cost activities with like minded folks