So saturday  I went to speed dating designed for poly/kinky/etc folks.  I had a lot better time that I expected.  I’m so painfully shy that putting myself out there like that scares me to death, but if I want a date  I have to do something.  it started out weird, I had signed up  and  and had off street parking which was nice  the organizers said someone paid my fee so they were giving me a refund.  Actually i was kinda creeped out, who wanted me there so much they wanted to pay my fee, I just hoped they didn’t except anything from it.  It was in baltimore so off I go, the venue was relatively easy to find, check in and mention that I was a little weird about someone paying for me but the organizers put me at ease, they couldn’t tell me who, but made it seem rather casual, and just fine.  the night before I almost chickened out .  But they handed out the sheets and explained how it worked.

When Im nervous I tend to talk really fast and a lot, cause awkward silences are not fun for me they make me feel weird, so I might have asked some odd rather vague and repetitive questions, but that 7 mins for each one flew by!! there were a few that I didn’t connect with, but thats to be expected.  Out of a potential 10 “dates” i matched with 7.  Seven people or couples thought I was interesting enough to get to know better!!!  Two folks I didn’t connect with and 1 that didnt connect with me, so not too shabby.

Some folks I thought were interesting, as friends I wanted to get to know them better and hang out with and some I thought might have potential in the future for more.  I should have done this years ago.  Ive always said I wanted to get more involved in community, and I hope this group has more events that I can get to.
And well if this leads to a date even if it doesn’t go far, it be really nice since I haven’t done hardly any of that in a long time and hardly know how to anymore. Ive had enough heartache in the past, and enough of a break (i think), im not looking to rush into things, but it would be nice.  And more friends would be nice too
Im bad with communication, Im working on it, but still have a long road ahead, emotional transparency is rather difficult for someone who for the majority of her life kept those things to herself, because to share them mean I was vulnerable, and was hurt.  I need to communicate better with my current and potential partners, wish me luck

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