Recently Ive been occasionally watching the show Sister Wives.  I didnt catch it from the beginning, essentially they are polygamists One man married to 4 women, now I dont know the whole story, I know there was controversy over where they used to live so they moved to Las vegas.  This episode was about the the newest wife child being born. By the end of it I was balling my eyes out, I was so moved by the sense of camaraderie, the sense of family, the sense of joy of a child coming into the world, and almost wanted to feel that joy myself of holding my own child.

I have always said that I love children dearly as long as they go home to their parents at the end of they day, but that episode made me think twice about that decision.  I made it a long time ago because i wasnt ready, and well Im a tad too old now I think, plus still trying to find a new place to live closer to my friends and civilization, and really am not financial ready to have a child, because i make shit for money.

Which brings me to another subject, employment (waring, whining ahead).  I watch alot of house shows, buying , selling,  flipping etc and they show how much theses folks mortgages are somewhere in the range of 2000 a month.  Really? Thats about how much I make in a MONTH (actually a bit more than what I make) and thats just sad.  I mean I dont have a super hard job.  Its mostly boring, but I do alot of Internet research and collect massive amount of data.

Im not super stupid, I went to college and have a BA in theatre, but Im not using it (biggest regret in my life).  I several problems in getting a better job: being complacent, the economy being bad and the job I have is not super horendous and not having to work weekends is great.  I dont have a business degree so id competing against people who do, if I went in to the medical field-like a nurse or paramedic that means more school and working weekends which I really dont care for. Uh cant win


Im still trying to look for a job closer to the frederick md area to be closer to friends, etc but im not holding my breath, but it wont happen if I dont do anything  so its definately something to work on