When I met Sir I knew that he was a pagan/shaman etc but really had no idea what that entailed.  Being a spirit worker of any nature is work and Work the amount of energy, time physical effort and money that these folks put into it.  I am so glad Im not of them, dont get me wrong I love what they do, they provide a wonderful service for the community.  But I wouldnt have the patience necessary, I am happy to try to become a Shaman’s girl/assistant

So Part 3 finally:

So this was rather delayed and its going to look a lot different because I had typed up 3/4 of it on my phone before I did a reset , and lost it . and thats a post for another time about how much I hate verizon

So the ordeal opened up alot of emotions, and a little history is necessary, growing up my family wasnt the super huggy kissy kind, i didnt have a bad upbringing i just didnt show my emotions alot, even when I was dating  I was never super mushy.  After the ordeal it seems alot of things make me sad or i get super frustrated or angry really easy, I guess bottling up emotions is a bad thing huh?

Back to spirituality

When I started to hang out with Sir at events and met his friends they were amazing -friendly, spiritual in various ways I was like where were you folks about 20 years ago (more later on this)

Sir and I went to a group called Utos, and the rituals were amazing  they are a trance possesory group who work with various deity/spirits.  I felt really accepted, and I even got up and danced, I had an amazing time and felt really connected.  Ive gone to several of their rituals and loved them.

One ritual that I went to at the beach Sir wasn’t able to go, it was me, N, J&J.  It was rather windy and cold, ok super windy and cold, I was having a bad day and was frustrated about the lack of focus spirituality wise.  The ritual was rather short and I was disappointed that I hadnt had a particular experience I really wanted to (I realize now it just wasnt meant to be)  I had a melt down started crying and couldn’t stop and got upset  and couldn’t explain myself to  those that care about me.  I cried through dinner, I cried through walmart.  I yelled at my friends, feeling sorry for myself  and was acting like a little kid having a temper tantrum.  I finally convinced them I was ok enough to leave the room by myself and I was able to collect myself for a little while.  I do much better to be able to control things if I can get a few minutes alone, especially if I have music  The next day though it started again I started crying  and could barely stop.  And someone told Sir what was happening and we texted and talked about everything going on.  And one of the things he mentioned was something to the effect of stop waiting for someone to show up spirituality wise and start picking some one and do some work, and made some suggestions.

More on this later this week

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