So part 3 of my journey is going to have to wait
The ability to say something when you want to is an amazing gift.  I say gift because in my case it can be taken away.  And it was, not because of punishment but because in his own way he is trying to mold to serve him better by focusing on the task at hand and not having extra conversations to distract me, which can be really easy to do me.  And while I agreed to it it is damn hard to not say anything, well ok not anything there are exceptions. But not hearing my own voice on a regular basis and not saying my opinion is difficult cause im so impatient but I can write things down for later and its not 24-7.
How wonderful that someone cares enough about me to take the time and energy to work on growing our relationship