So if you stuck with the story so far my journey continues:

Well a side note: by the time the previous relationship ended where I was the sub I had realized that some folks were combining bdsm and spiritually and energy play and I was definitely intrigued

When I was growing  up as a kid I followed my parents religion they were Methodists essentially, I was a good girl, I went to church, I even taught sunday school, but never really challenged their faith, I just followed blindly.  When I was a teen I started hanging out with the goth kids and got vaguely introduced to pagan and wicca. I read a lot of  books and considered myself wiccan for awhile (I was even in a Diannic coven for awhile wow did that not work) Eventually I considered my self pagan lite, I went to rituals, worked with raising/manipulating energy but didn’t have a big focus.  I always thought I had someone/something guiding me towards the paths I had taken (even the hard ones) but didn’t know who. I had some other friends in the SCA (not my previous Mistress) who were also pagan and kinky and whenever I played with them I could feel and see the energy being manipulated. I really enjoyed the exchange.

I realized I wanted something more from my bdsm interactions for awhile now, I wanted that deeper connection I wanted someone who was darker, played heavier/harder and who understood me, who would be poly, and pagan, or some variant thereof.  And I happened to see a post  from a friend of one of my friends on fetlife.  And my life changed-well not all at once, but a lot of  necessary change has happened in the last few years,  I still have a long way to go.

So me being being the quintessential shy person I got up the courage to send a fet note and we started chatting, eventually meeting at the local bdsm  club.  I liked them, had a good time chatting with them.  I got a good vibe from him and his friends.  I like the way he treated his friends and partners, and was welcoming and always willing to teach new folks.  He is a big needle top and well me having a blood fetish worked out well.

We chatted about alot of things , and I looked back at our first conversations on fetlife it made me smile/cry and be happy all at the same time knowing that is where it all started, the whole nervousness about are we compatible and on what level, and figuring out each other.  He is a heavy player, and we started chatting about doing a first scene with needles at DO winter fire almost 3 years ago, and then fate kicked me in the ass

The day before I we were supposed to do our first little scene I ended up in the ER with a blood clot in my leg.  I made my apologies as to why I couldn’t make it  and of course he was understating and concerned.  And then the dr dropped a bombshell, I would be on coumadin for 6-8 months which meant no play, and especially rough play and piercing.  Well that put a damper on things doesn’t it?

Well, not necessarily, it actually gave time to work on other things like service.  Had you asked me before I met him I wouldn’t consider myself a “service submissive” sure I might carry my play partners bag  but it was different.  We talked about formal service type stuff and at first it was a way for me to go to more events and all I had to do was  carry stuff and pack cars, and help out in classes.  But I quickly found out with him it was different, I got joy out of serving him, getting a good girl when a job was well done really floated by boat.  It was a chance to get to know him better since we couldn’t play and eventually I got to wear the “dreaded” pink collar.  At the time we had talked about a collar, and I had actually made a chainmaile collar without asking him what he wanted.  And at an event he was at he won a collar with a snap in the back that was bright pink with small metal studs around it and a d ring in front.  Well I hate  pink with a passion and he knew that but he mentioned something to the effect of this is an act of submission, to wear something that you hate the color of.  And  I grew to love that collar, eventually every time  he took it off me, since it lived at his house I longed for it to be on.  It became a running theme and he would playfully threaten me

And yes eventually we were able to play.

Off on another tangent:

About a year after i had met him I went through an scene/ordeal (not with him with someone else).  For awhile C and I had been having problems, or at least I with her.  We were really codependent on each other, for a long time we were each others world we hardly went out or if we did it was always together.  We never played together anymore, because I realized being a mistress wasn’t really me, we fought and I was tired of walking on eggshells because  if i said anything negative she would immediately huff and puff  and generally made me feel like it was my fault.  I already knew the answer but the ordeal allowed me (gave me the balls)to put a voice to something I had been feeling for quite some time, that for me to move forward I needed to break up.  While there are still ties to her since we still live in the same house (long story) I feel at least Ive made some progress.  And no my Sir had nothing to do with my decision, he would have and has supported me any way it turned out but it was my choice.

So next tangent: Spirituality

When I met Sir I knew that he was a pagan/shaman etc but really had no idea what that entailed.  Being a spirit worker of any nature is work and Work the amount of energy, time physical effort and money that these folks put into it.  I am so glad Im not of them, dont get me wrong I love what they do, they provide a wonderful service for the community.  But I wouldnt have the patience necessary, I am happy to try to become a Shaman’s girl/assistant

Continued in part 3 to hopefully be done monday or tuesday

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