It all started about wow almost 3 years ago when I saw a post from someone who was a friend of a friend on fetlife, I checked out their profile and thought hey they were hot and they have several of the same interests, and seems like a person I really needed to know.

(long growing up story in my rather disorganized style-ignore if you like)

So a little break and bit about the journey up till now:  I had grown up in a comfortable ,very conservative family, and i was the odd one, geeky, fat, a goth, Wiccan and a theatre person, so that made for a rather difficult teenage experience and self esteem issues-although I found a lot of acceptance at Rocky Horror in my later teen years.  I had always known that I like girls, and boys and I had always like playing “cowboys and Indians” restraining my companions and having fun.

At college in was like I finally opened my eyes and saw the world for the first time.  I, for the most part, accepted that I was fat, and that fat really wasn’t bad, in fact it was good.  I reveled in my theatre classes, and found alot of people who accepted me for who I was, and joined the lgb alliance on campus.  Had several relationships, a lot more than high school, one very serious .

I had a great time graduated with a degree (that I’m not using and totally regret)  So, coming back freedom of college to living with my folks for a bit was a shock, and I shacked up with someone going thru a divorce, which in some respects was the worse, and best decision of life.  He was into trying me up when we had sex and spanking, which I hadn’t done with anyone else, wow those first endorphin rushes were fabulous.  Back in those days the internets were rather new and bbs’s were the thing of the day.  He showed me the bbs he hung out on, I think it was called the castle, and my world was never the same since.

I started learning about the world of bdsm and eventually got invited to a house party.  At the time I thought I was a switch, with leanings towards Mistress ( boy was I ever wrong).  I went to the party and my jaw was dropping alot at what I saw, people of various sizes and ages  lounging around chatting, on in scenes on furniture with toys.

I hit the jackpot, these people were extremely welcoming,  not pushy and took time to show me everything and made introductions.  I watched everything I could over that weekend and felt that I had found the right path.  It was the first time I saw fire  and blood play, and I was hooked, I had always had a thing for blood, licking it off me when i injured myself or just the look of it .  I was still smoking at the time, and to do that we had to go outside, and there was a couple that were also smokers so we made fast friends over the weekend, and we arranged to do my first scene, discussing things like safewords and limits. I had a blast they put me up on a frame and with a lot of humor and patience explored many new toys.

We played a few times after that I believe, and got involved in the burgeoning local bdsm groups.  I had since broken it off with the person going thru a divorce and was on my own ( for various reasons).   Awhile later I had gone to another weekend party (at a campground) and had met more folks thru the smokers area where I realized really for the first time that there were people who were transgender as a couple that I met one of them was mtf, who were amazed that I didn’t have a problem with it, since several people they had encountered in the community seemed to have issues.  Afterwards I ended up chatting with them and their roomate on IRC which I spent many an hour on.

Which is where I met C,  and we fell into a relationship where I was the Mistress and she the sub.  They lived in Norfolk VA so after talking with C a lot went down and moved her in with me in upstate ny for bit.  We had fun at the beginning, went to play parties where I topped her, and generally settled into life.  But, I wasnt a very good mistress, I wasnt really super into it for the most part, I mean sure I used various toys mostly effectively, and my play partners seemed to have fun (my aim was poor) and I loved to set people on fire (fire is definitely my element I can trance out to live flame).  But I wasn’t really creative, and my submissive/service/slave/whatever side was growing.

I bottomed to various people for fire,needles, and other toys and really loved it.  I had made friends with some folks in the sca that were also kinky,((holy cow theres alot of cross over) and we started to hang out.  We had moved down to Norfolk and then to Northern VA.  Eventually one of the SCA Friends became my “real” Mistress (others I had called that but not as serious and committed as her), oh and her hubby had a part time share in me.  I had fun while it lasted, and wore a collar, it faded/ended for various reasons.

To be continued

I

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